Onwuka Stanislaus said A girl mistakenly sent a text meant for her boyfriend to her dad saying: Sweetheart I don't want to abort this pregnancy because I might damage my womb, don't forget this would be the 10^th pregnancy I will be aborting for you. But don't worry, i'm preparing my parents food, I will poison them both so we can acquire their property for ourselves. I love you dear! What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza! Wednesday 14/11/2012

 

Response: What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza! By OGUN IKECHUKWU

Jesus said: He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they that heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the eldest, until the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in front of him. When Jesus lifted up his face, and saw none except the woman, He said to her, Woman, where are your accusers? Have no man condemned you? She said, No my Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. John 8:2-11.

The Mercy of God is greater than anything that we may think of. Nobody is congratulating the girl for her waywardness or for her evil intention, which in real life may happen if nothing is done to prevent that. Secondly, we should not lose sight of the root cause. Do not hold back from correcting a youth, the rod will not kill him or her. With several strokes, you save him or her from death. Prov.23: 13-14. The death here is holistic and integral. These strokes may come in different forms, through good example as a parent or guardian, through advice and avoidance of liberalism, for the Word of God said: The man who loves his child makes use of the rod; later on he will be proud of him or her.[…] Do not let him or her be independent as a child, but rather bruise his or her ribs while he is still young, less he grow stubborn and refuse to obey. Be strict with your child and persevere in this, so as not to suffer because of his misconduct. Sirach 30:1-13. Strictness is a sine qua non for child up-bringing. That is why the Holy Scripture continued to say: Have you children? Educate them and teach them to obey from their childhood. Have you any daughters? Guard their virginity and do not be indulgent towards them. Sirach 7: 23-24. If there is no guidance, the result is always shameful hence, Guard against the provocative woman and do not be surprised if she wished to drag you into disgrace. She opens her mouth like a thirsty traveler to drink any water coming her way; she sits by pole and opens her quiver or lap to every arrow or man. Sirach 26: 11-12. The result of this brings about the Stanislaus’ story of: A girl mistakenly sent a text meant for her boyfriend to her dad saying: Sweetheart I don't want to abort this pregnancy because I might damage my womb, don't forget this would be the 10^th pregnancy I will be aborting for you. But don't worry, i'm preparing my parents food, I will poison them both so we can acquire their property for ourselves. I love you dear! What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza!  The girl should not be killed or condemned by her father. The father will thank God for making him realize and as well notice his mistakes and that of his daughter, of not being careful and dutiful as a father more especially in the spiritual and moral life of his child. He should as a matter of fact show the daughter the text as to have a base in condemning her intention and actions in the past and not to condemn her as a person. Tell her that he still loves her with his whole heart so that he may win her heart. This ought to be done as both of them look at the poisoned food on the table, in this way the derailed soul may come back to her right senses and recognizing the Mercy of God and the future damage she might have done to herself and to be corrected. A good father will not forget to recommend her immediately for the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). By this way the girl will consciously and conscientiously pray the Psalm: Have mercy on me O God, in your love. In your great compassion blot out my sin. Wash me thoroughly of my guilt; cleanse me of evil. For acknowledge my wrongdoings and have my sins in mind. Against you alone have I sinned; what is evil in your sight I have done. You are right when you give judgment. For I have been guilt-ridden from birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb. I know you desire truth in the heart, teach me wisdom in my inmost being. Cleanse me with hyssop and I shall be clean, wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. Ps.51: 3-9. We ought to careful when we make friends for friendship is something with integrity. WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP? Friendship in the real sense of it is a way towards sacrificing your time, talent, energy and the whole self for the goal and happiness of others. The happiness here does not in any way imply promiscuity, hence the word friendship implies:

F – FOCUSING your mind towards making others happy.

R – REACHING to others as to make them feel well always.

I – INSISTING on the things that glorifies God in your relationship with friends.

E – ENDURING things on behalf of others.

N – NEVER to give the devil opportunity between your relationships. cfr.1Peter 5:8-9.

D – DOING everything to bring nearer your friends to God.

S – SHAPING your personality from the virtues of your friends and they in return increasing their virtues from yours.

H – HOLINESS of life is a key to true friendship.

I – INSTRUCT your friends well whenever they err.

P – PUT all efforts to help you grow positively for the sake of knowing others.

God bless you all, as we pray together for each other and correct each as well with sincere and divine love.

SATISFYING YOUR PARTNER (WIFE OR HUSBAND) VIS-À-VIS 1COR.7:1-5? BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

What is the significant of this passage to human beings more especially Christians towards satisfying their partners (wife or husband)? What are the supposed human ways of satisfaction in matters regarding conjugal love? What do we think as Christian ways of this satisfication generally? Bringing in our knowledge of science, with or without faith, with morality, spirituality and hygiene; what do we have to say or do properly? How do lower animals or beasts satisfy themselves sexually? Can we appropriate such said “sexual satisfying way of beasts” into humans? Human beings that behave like lower animals or beasts in sexual acts are simply beasts, even when they are married in the Church; this is because beasts lack Holy Spirit in themselves. No matter how human beings may try to rationalize over the beast-like nature in their presumed way of satisfying their partners sexually, they make themselves beasts by that action. It is only beasts that lick or suck the genital organs of their fellow beast partners during their mating. These days very many human beings have turned themselves into beasts and they see nothing wrong, dehumanizing, unhygienic and sinful too about it. Their arguments are: but I love it, it gives me joy and satisfaction sexually, it makes me very high and to reach orgasm quick and very much lasting, he or she is my lover (my girl friend, my boy friend, my husband or my wife), so we are okay with it and we know ourselves. Shame and woe unto us for we are turning ourselves into beasts as a sign of modernism. This is indeed a departure of the Holy Spirit and glory of God hence Ichabodic cfr. 1Sam.4:21-22, on our human existence more so as Christians, hence a rethinking is a must on this issue. Very many people have misunderstood and misinterpreted the Word of God to suit their myopic or vacuum spirituality and morality; this indeed is a dehumanization of God’s gift of sexuality.

Written on Friday 13th September 2013 Memorial of St. John Chrysostom while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.

 

CONJUGAL LOVE VIS-À-VIS SALUS ANIMARUM  BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

Basically and primarily the reason for conjugal love is salus animarum, anything outside of this from either of the couple is unchristian and ought to be treated with a special care for the salvation of both, or either one whereby the other refuses to accept his or her mistakes in relation to their Christian faith with love, sacrifice, spirit of forgiveness and dedication. Any action from either of the couple that lacks true love regarding their mutual consent on their conjugality is always sinful, hence there ought to be sincere love in making-love by both partners, because whatever God has joined nobody should put asunder (Mk.10:9). Indeed this is a real and sincere concrete act of love, hence an appreciation of marriage dignity. Both ought to be aware   that the slogan: “Variety is the spice of life” has no foundation in real and concrete conjugal love in marriage life. This is because it is a Sacrament of Love, the Mystery and Covenant of infinite togetherness; not a contract of love. Marriage is all about sacrificial love and covenant, Manifested in the consent when each couple says, “In good health and in sickness, in riches and in poverty, I will love you till death do us part”.  The teachings of the Church from the Canon Law, Dogmatic Theology, Moral Theology, Bioethics, Ecclesiology, Liturgy, etc ought to and as well gear towards the Sacred Scriptures and Spirituality because the final goal of our Christian faith is salus animarum. No matter how concrete, special or contextual a case may be on the issue regarding conjugal love because of abuses done by either of the partners, the means that may be used to resolve the issue as to reach the teleological reality becomes just and right. In view of this let us reflect on some questions or issues that arise regarding conjugal love:

1.      How can we reconcile onanism within the legitimate Christian marriage?

2.      Since onanism is a sin, can’t the man resort into putting and pulling off when about to release or better still use condom even when both of them are healthy, because they do not need children again or are in family planning?

3.      In a case whereby the man or woman is a stallion, what will the wife or husband do as not to cause problem in the family, or even when she is in her ovulation and the man still wants her to submit or be obedient to him regarding love-making?

4.      If the woman takes in with or without the knowledge of the husband and then aborts  it what will the man do, or any justification by the woman because she needs his husband to satisfy her as they are one body, so if pregnancy comes she can terminate it no problem?

5.      For a wife who decides not to tell anybody for reason only best known to her no matter what or for no just course she zips up her laps for so long a time for her husband, when she eventually and personally releases the key to the gate even with their initial consent of family planning the man remain headstrong even when on her ovulation period makes a revenge of no love in love-making, which of course suppose not to be. Any justification by the man?

6.      Many a time some of the couples individually decides to remain conduit about his or her past love life, of course which is another level of deceit or simulation before their wedding, (which ipso facto there was no marriage ab initio, unless the either partner decides to forgive him or her and let go), when the either partner later knows problem arises.

7.      What are we to say in a situation whereby a man who have been flourishing economically and otherwise all of a sudden becomes incapacitated financially and the wife then becomes the breadwinner. The man in question is not lazy nor does he stay idle at home but goes out in search of job but to no avail yet, then the wife takes the advantage of insulting him every day even before those (her brother and her female cousin) living with them in their family with their little children. A time came that this woman took their child and travelled outside the country to her friends for over a month leaving the husband without a word yet he endured that, even when his mother came into the case to and told him to pack his things and leave the house for her, yet he said no mama but I love my wife. The woman’s conduct led to her brother and cousin to leave their house and rent different apartments whereas they have a place to stay. Her brother and cousin many a time have accosted her that she may change and behave well yet to no avail. The man is indeed a slave in his own house and the woman tells him when to have sex with her because he is nobody according to her, forgetting the husband’s condition when they married in the church. It is good to note here that the woman married his money, hence there was a deceit from the onset, ipso facto no marriage. The man still loves her despite her character, knowing full well her background and yet accommodated her when things were well with him.  This story may also be applied directly to the wife as a victim.

Considering that the word MARRIAGE uniquely reminds both partner that there  are one body, it means thus:

M - MARRIAGE is a covenant keep to it.

A - ADMIT the things you cannot change in life.

R - RESPECT is a must to be shown to each other.

R - REASONING together for the smooth going of the family is an obligation.

I - IMITATE the Holy Family (JESUS, MARY and JOSEPH) in the Bible and INSIST on good moral behaviours of your children when they come, starting with good examples from both partners.

A - ACCEPT each person’s imperfection and ADD his or her virtues to yours.

G - GIVE no third party a chance in your marriage, so that what God has joined nobody should put asunder.

E - ENCOURAGING each other ought to be a daily duty.

Therefore in conjugal love, making love without the spirit of sincere love to your partner is very sinful and ought to be avoided, for we always misinterpret the Scriptures to suit our debased spirituality and morality, stupidity and egoistic manners. Egoistic behaviour or self-centeredness is a sin against Love cfr. 1Cor.13:5. Sincere love-making between couples need no cohesion or friction but rather ought to be natural, unless in the case of transmittable diseases which may be avoided by cohesion or addition of unnatural means. Love-making is and ought to be a sacrifice, hence the result or fruit when it comes whether needed or not by the couple need not to be tampered be it in secret from the woman or according to the couple’s consent, for God is the owner of life, hence it is always a deadly sin when done, and receives retributive justice here or hereafter. If one really and sincerely loves his or her partner, should respect either one’s life as well in love-making, hence there ought to be love in making love always. Lack of family prayers or Bible readings and meditation by the couple makes them ignorant and unfaithful to the Word of God which may lead them into an mere Christians, occasional or Sunday Christians only and after that lives with their faithlessness. Both partners ought to have common aspiration in life even when they are not doing the same work or having the same life style. Patience and abstinence ought to be practiced well and not peripherally regarding their love-making as couple, so as not to take either partner as sex-machine or sex-toy. Either of the partners should always remind the other that physical death may occur especially from the husband to the wife or the wife to the husband, when there is danger in child birth because of  her health. If the woman is okay, that will not be a reason either for total lack of love in love-making from herself or the husband. In a case whereby either is a stallion even with the use of condom in ovulation period of the woman which is not proper and right, the wife should try always never to lose hope or get tired of telling him the risk of her death if he continues to be intransigent, whereby the fault is from the man. This will always be done during their love-making when she is free and at that particular moment when the husband is right inside her. If there is a serious need for either of the partner to record the voice through any available means he or she can do that, in case  either of them will try to deny when serious case arose by tomorrow. The goal of marriage and what comes out as fruit of conjugal love is always for an eternal life as Christians. If they remain adamant without Christian spirit, either of them should be treated like a beast which they claim to be by their constant action through separation as a final remedy for the life, health and salvation of both or either partner. This is to be done when all possible means through prayers, dialogue, sacrifices, etc applied proves abortive, for such person among them is psychologically, morally and spiritually sick and ought to be treated as such. If even the either partner goes about messing himself or herself up with girls/women or boys/men or try to remarry after the separation but for how long will he or she do that before the new partner/lover realizes that he or she is not normal. Still on onanism, a biblical philological exegete Padre Giovanni Boer said in onanism there was no faithfulness in the citation regarding the sexual intercourse. This sexual intercourse by Onan cannot be used to explain contraception as done nowadays by some people. John Paul II’s catechesis on sexuality have many responses to this because in the beginning God made them one man one wife. The great mystery of human sexuality is evident in the non satisfying character found in sex hence the fulfillment is only found in union with Christ and this is important to priests as well. A priest is consecrated in the Church and is not alone, hence my priesthood is to save all men and women alike, so that the happiness of human sexuality will be seen in eternity.

Written on Monday 23^rd September 2013 Memorial of St. Pius of Pietreclina (san Padre Pio di Pietreclina) while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.

 

IS VIRGINITY BROKEN ONLY ONCE IN LIFE TIME? BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

As children of God, as Christians and as human persons too who may tend to say “I don’t care I must live my life the way I want it”, whether we want to know or not, the fact is that we are under control of Him who created us out of his bounty and goodness. This implies that we are not free to do whatever we think or wish personally to do and cannot pretend not to know what is right at a point a time, irrespective of our knowledge, rhetoric or what we may think as being “rightful thing” to do at a point in time. Therefore, the issue of virginity preservation before Sacramental marriage as a Christian is always a judge against us once we go contrary, that is testing if you are a virgin really through sexual intercourse, before that particular day of Covenant promise or oath or vow between a man and a woman as to be husband and wife in the Church. This is spiritually and morally binding of both couple before Christ’s faithful and once is done the consummation follows immediately at home or any place they have prepared on that particular day. Therefore, once a woman is not raped or by any other means available be it by physical force or drugged as to have carnal relationship or knowledge of her, the breaking of her virginity is always consciously and conscientiously done by her deliberate intention. Virginity is physically broken (by sexual intercourse or any form of accident) only once in life time. It is always the girl or woman who consents and opens herself deliberately for the passage of a man in her. For one to say that, they (the man or boy or his people or yours) made her to lose her virginity before the wedding day in the Church as she promised her God is totally false and porous of her personal conviction of Faith in God and moral steadiness as a person (man or woman). In the world today there are many places we can go for medical certification prior to Sacrament of Marriage, from a very Christian and reliable faithful medical personnel, therefore, we need not fear or have any doubt about what God can do. Ever before both of you get involved or enter deep into the relationship which is likely to lead to marriage this test ought to be done and certified okay. Trying to make a test (by having sexual intercourse), by both partners and one of them is a total lack of faith and trust in God as a Christian. For one (girls mostly) to say that “I am forced or under duress” is simply a lack of faith in God and lack of trust of yourself too as a person, hence a spiritual laxity. Wherever the seemingly persuasion as may claim by either partner is coming from, is a total lack of faith as a Christian, for even when they made test of themselves through sexual relationship or intercourse, if God is to say otherwise because of their action, they will end up being an atheist when nothing happens within their marriage, even when both are sexually fit as they think of themselves after prior meetings. Be it as it may, the defensive statement from the girl, that he made me to lose my virginity before the Sacrament of Matrimony is totally from her own feeble mindedness or personal sexual nostalgia weakness, for she gave the opportunity to be so, by leaving herself totally free without anything while alone with the supposed man, thereby allowing him to explore her body and she loses her virginity (cfr. Ezek.23:3.8-10.21; see also 16:15; Sirach 23:16-17). We ought to know that the body chemistry is very volatile once it comes to carnal rapport, that is why when the opposite sex works on the body of the either persons he or she gives in immediately, therefore, to avoid blame to anybody, is always best not to give the devil a chance (cfr.1Pet.5:8-9). Once we are baptized, our Christian faith teaches, that the body exploration or foreplay between a man and a woman is only allowed or permitted for those who are already wedded in the Church (cfr. 1Cor.7:1-16) and not even when they were still in Marriage Course. Therefore, Continence or Self Control is always the solution and this is upheld through avoiding the occasions of sin regarding the loss of integrity and dignity as a Christian and more so as a person. Regrettably these days during Sacrament of Matrimony in the Church very many yet after their continuous carnal knowledge come up with an immaculate veil on the day of marriage with the face covered as to have a ceremonial unveiling of the seemingly nubile, alma or virgin, this a spiritual cum moral caricature to God of virginity in the Liturgy. This is spiritually hypocrisy and a debased faith unto Virginity and Immaculate nature. Therefore, let us try always to maintain our faith, trust and promise to God, more so when we have paraded ourselves in the past as being virgin before marriage, if not let us not make caricature of ourselves before God. All these are also applicable to friendship relationships between a boy and a girl or a man and a woman. If you are a virgin and then contacted a relationship with a boy or a girl as a friend try your best to make the friendship sincere and firm with your state of virginity with steady integrity and original dignity. If he or she wants to know whether you are a virgin really, you don’t need to give in to his or her persuasions by saying have me and see that am saying the truth, it is a form of gross stupidity on your part as a boy or a girl, for you can never regain your original status when you are a virgin once you have carnal relationship with an opposite sex, no matter many years it takes you to have it the second time. Be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self Eph.4:23-24. Oh God, have mercy on me Ps.51.

Written on Thursday 12th September 2013 Memorial of the Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.