Onwuka Stanislaus said A girl mistakenly sent a text meant for her boyfriend to her dad saying: Sweetheart I don't want to abort this pregnancy because I might damage my womb, don't forget this would be the 10^th pregnancy I will be aborting for you. But don't worry, i'm preparing my parents food, I will poison them both so we can acquire their property for ourselves. I love you dear! What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza! Wednesday 14/11/2012

 

Response: What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza! By OGUN IKECHUKWU

Jesus said: He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again He stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they that heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the eldest, until the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in front of him. When Jesus lifted up his face, and saw none except the woman, He said to her, Woman, where are your accusers? Have no man condemned you? She said, No my Lord. And Jesus said to her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. John 8:2-11.

The Mercy of God is greater than anything that we may think of. Nobody is congratulating the girl for her waywardness or for her evil intention, which in real life may happen if nothing is done to prevent that. Secondly, we should not lose sight of the root cause. Do not hold back from correcting a youth, the rod will not kill him or her. With several strokes, you save him or her from death. Prov.23: 13-14. The death here is holistic and integral. These strokes may come in different forms, through good example as a parent or guardian, through advice and avoidance of liberalism, for the Word of God said: The man who loves his child makes use of the rod; later on he will be proud of him or her.[…] Do not let him or her be independent as a child, but rather bruise his or her ribs while he is still young, less he grow stubborn and refuse to obey. Be strict with your child and persevere in this, so as not to suffer because of his misconduct. Sirach 30:1-13. Strictness is a sine qua non for child up-bringing. That is why the Holy Scripture continued to say: Have you children? Educate them and teach them to obey from their childhood. Have you any daughters? Guard their virginity and do not be indulgent towards them. Sirach 7: 23-24. If there is no guidance, the result is always shameful hence, Guard against the provocative woman and do not be surprised if she wished to drag you into disgrace. She opens her mouth like a thirsty traveler to drink any water coming her way; she sits by pole and opens her quiver or lap to every arrow or man. Sirach 26: 11-12. The result of this brings about the Stanislaus’ story of: A girl mistakenly sent a text meant for her boyfriend to her dad saying: Sweetheart I don't want to abort this pregnancy because I might damage my womb, don't forget this would be the 10^th pregnancy I will be aborting for you. But don't worry, i'm preparing my parents food, I will poison them both so we can acquire their property for ourselves. I love you dear! What will You do if You were her DAD?. Ajuju na aziza!  The girl should not be killed or condemned by her father. The father will thank God for making him realize and as well notice his mistakes and that of his daughter, of not being careful and dutiful as a father more especially in the spiritual and moral life of his child. He should as a matter of fact show the daughter the text as to have a base in condemning her intention and actions in the past and not to condemn her as a person. Tell her that he still loves her with his whole heart so that he may win her heart. This ought to be done as both of them look at the poisoned food on the table, in this way the derailed soul may come back to her right senses and recognizing the Mercy of God and the future damage she might have done to herself and to be corrected. A good father will not forget to recommend her immediately for the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). By this way the girl will consciously and conscientiously pray the Psalm: Have mercy on me O God, in your love. In your great compassion blot out my sin. Wash me thoroughly of my guilt; cleanse me of evil. For acknowledge my wrongdoings and have my sins in mind. Against you alone have I sinned; what is evil in your sight I have done. You are right when you give judgment. For I have been guilt-ridden from birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb. I know you desire truth in the heart, teach me wisdom in my inmost being. Cleanse me with hyssop and I shall be clean, wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. Ps.51: 3-9. We ought to careful when we make friends for friendship is something with integrity. WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP? Friendship in the real sense of it is a way towards sacrificing your time, talent, energy and the whole self for the goal and happiness of others. The happiness here does not in any way imply promiscuity, hence the word friendship implies:

F – FOCUSING your mind towards making others happy.

R – REACHING to others as to make them feel well always.

I – INSISTING on the things that glorifies God in your relationship with friends.

E – ENDURING things on behalf of others.

N – NEVER to give the devil opportunity between your relationships. cfr.1Peter 5:8-9.

D – DOING everything to bring nearer your friends to God.

S – SHAPING your personality from the virtues of your friends and they in return increasing their virtues from yours.

H – HOLINESS of life is a key to true friendship.

I – INSTRUCT your friends well whenever they err.

P – PUT all efforts to help you grow positively for the sake of knowing others.

God bless you all, as we pray together for each other and correct each as well with sincere and divine love.

SATISFYING YOUR PARTNER (WIFE OR HUSBAND) VIS-À-VIS 1COR.7:1-5? BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

What is the significant of this passage to human beings more especially Christians towards satisfying their partners (wife or husband)? What are the supposed human ways of satisfaction in matters regarding conjugal love? What do we think as Christian ways of this satisfication generally? Bringing in our knowledge of science, with or without faith, with morality, spirituality and hygiene; what do we have to say or do properly? How do lower animals or beasts satisfy themselves sexually? Can we appropriate such said “sexual satisfying way of beasts” into humans? Human beings that behave like lower animals or beasts in sexual acts are simply beasts, even when they are married in the Church; this is because beasts lack Holy Spirit in themselves. No matter how human beings may try to rationalize over the beast-like nature in their presumed way of satisfying their partners sexually, they make themselves beasts by that action. It is only beasts that lick or suck the genital organs of their fellow beast partners during their mating. These days very many human beings have turned themselves into beasts and they see nothing wrong, dehumanizing, unhygienic and sinful too about it. Their arguments are: but I love it, it gives me joy and satisfaction sexually, it makes me very high and to reach orgasm quick and very much lasting, he or she is my lover (my girl friend, my boy friend, my husband or my wife), so we are okay with it and we know ourselves. Shame and woe unto us for we are turning ourselves into beasts as a sign of modernism. This is indeed a departure of the Holy Spirit and glory of God hence Ichabodic cfr. 1Sam.4:21-22, on our human existence more so as Christians, hence a rethinking is a must on this issue. Very many people have misunderstood and misinterpreted the Word of God to suit their myopic or vacuum spirituality and morality; this indeed is a dehumanization of God’s gift of sexuality.

Written on Friday 13th September 2013 Memorial of St. John Chrysostom while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.

 

CONJUGAL LOVE VIS-À-VIS SALUS ANIMARUM  BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

Basically and primarily the reason for conjugal love is salus animarum, anything outside of this from either of the couple is unchristian and ought to be treated with a special care for the salvation of both, or either one whereby the other refuses to accept his or her mistakes in relation to their Christian faith with love, sacrifice, spirit of forgiveness and dedication. Any action from either of the couple that lacks true love regarding their mutual consent on their conjugality is always sinful, hence there ought to be sincere love in making-love by both partners, because whatever God has joined nobody should put asunder (Mk.10:9). Indeed this is a real and sincere concrete act of love, hence an appreciation of marriage dignity. Both ought to be aware   that the slogan: “Variety is the spice of life” has no foundation in real and concrete conjugal love in marriage life. This is because it is a Sacrament of Love, the Mystery and Covenant of infinite togetherness; not a contract of love. Marriage is all about sacrificial love and covenant, Manifested in the consent when each couple says, “In good health and in sickness, in riches and in poverty, I will love you till death do us part”.  The teachings of the Church from the Canon Law, Dogmatic Theology, Moral Theology, Bioethics, Ecclesiology, Liturgy, etc ought to and as well gear towards the Sacred Scriptures and Spirituality because the final goal of our Christian faith is salus animarum. No matter how concrete, special or contextual a case may be on the issue regarding conjugal love because of abuses done by either of the partners, the means that may be used to resolve the issue as to reach the teleological reality becomes just and right. In view of this let us reflect on some questions or issues that arise regarding conjugal love:

1.      How can we reconcile onanism within the legitimate Christian marriage?

2.      Since onanism is a sin, can’t the man resort into putting and pulling off when about to release or better still use condom even when both of them are healthy, because they do not need children again or are in family planning?

3.      In a case whereby the man or woman is a stallion, what will the wife or husband do as not to cause problem in the family, or even when she is in her ovulation and the man still wants her to submit or be obedient to him regarding love-making?

4.      If the woman takes in with or without the knowledge of the husband and then aborts  it what will the man do, or any justification by the woman because she needs his husband to satisfy her as they are one body, so if pregnancy comes she can terminate it no problem?

5.      For a wife who decides not to tell anybody for reason only best known to her no matter what or for no just course she zips up her laps for so long a time for her husband, when she eventually and personally releases the key to the gate even with their initial consent of family planning the man remain headstrong even when on her ovulation period makes a revenge of no love in love-making, which of course suppose not to be. Any justification by the man?

6.      Many a time some of the couples individually decides to remain conduit about his or her past love life, of course which is another level of deceit or simulation before their wedding, (which ipso facto there was no marriage ab initio, unless the either partner decides to forgive him or her and let go), when the either partner later knows problem arises.

7.      What are we to say in a situation whereby a man who have been flourishing economically and otherwise all of a sudden becomes incapacitated financially and the wife then becomes the breadwinner. The man in question is not lazy nor does he stay idle at home but goes out in search of job but to no avail yet, then the wife takes the advantage of insulting him every day even before those (her brother and her female cousin) living with them in their family with their little children. A time came that this woman took their child and travelled outside the country to her friends for over a month leaving the husband without a word yet he endured that, even when his mother came into the case to and told him to pack his things and leave the house for her, yet he said no mama but I love my wife. The woman’s conduct led to her brother and cousin to leave their house and rent different apartments whereas they have a place to stay. Her brother and cousin many a time have accosted her that she may change and behave well yet to no avail. The man is indeed a slave in his own house and the woman tells him when to have sex with her because he is nobody according to her, forgetting the husband’s condition when they married in the church. It is good to note here that the woman married his money, hence there was a deceit from the onset, ipso facto no marriage. The man still loves her despite her character, knowing full well her background and yet accommodated her when things were well with him.  This story may also be applied directly to the wife as a victim.

Considering that the word MARRIAGE uniquely reminds both partner that there  are one body, it means thus:

M - MARRIAGE is a covenant keep to it.

A - ADMIT the things you cannot change in life.

R - RESPECT is a must to be shown to each other.

R - REASONING together for the smooth going of the family is an obligation.

I - IMITATE the Holy Family (JESUS, MARY and JOSEPH) in the Bible and INSIST on good moral behaviours of your children when they come, starting with good examples from both partners.

A - ACCEPT each person’s imperfection and ADD his or her virtues to yours.

G - GIVE no third party a chance in your marriage, so that what God has joined nobody should put asunder.

E - ENCOURAGING each other ought to be a daily duty.

Therefore in conjugal love, making love without the spirit of sincere love to your partner is very sinful and ought to be avoided, for we always misinterpret the Scriptures to suit our debased spirituality and morality, stupidity and egoistic manners. Egoistic behaviour or self-centeredness is a sin against Love cfr. 1Cor.13:5. Sincere love-making between couples need no cohesion or friction but rather ought to be natural, unless in the case of transmittable diseases which may be avoided by cohesion or addition of unnatural means. Love-making is and ought to be a sacrifice, hence the result or fruit when it comes whether needed or not by the couple need not to be tampered be it in secret from the woman or according to the couple’s consent, for God is the owner of life, hence it is always a deadly sin when done, and receives retributive justice here or hereafter. If one really and sincerely loves his or her partner, should respect either one’s life as well in love-making, hence there ought to be love in making love always. Lack of family prayers or Bible readings and meditation by the couple makes them ignorant and unfaithful to the Word of God which may lead them into an mere Christians, occasional or Sunday Christians only and after that lives with their faithlessness. Both partners ought to have common aspiration in life even when they are not doing the same work or having the same life style. Patience and abstinence ought to be practiced well and not peripherally regarding their love-making as couple, so as not to take either partner as sex-machine or sex-toy. Either of the partners should always remind the other that physical death may occur especially from the husband to the wife or the wife to the husband, when there is danger in child birth because of  her health. If the woman is okay, that will not be a reason either for total lack of love in love-making from herself or the husband. In a case whereby either is a stallion even with the use of condom in ovulation period of the woman which is not proper and right, the wife should try always never to lose hope or get tired of telling him the risk of her death if he continues to be intransigent, whereby the fault is from the man. This will always be done during their love-making when she is free and at that particular moment when the husband is right inside her. If there is a serious need for either of the partner to record the voice through any available means he or she can do that, in case  either of them will try to deny when serious case arose by tomorrow. The goal of marriage and what comes out as fruit of conjugal love is always for an eternal life as Christians. If they remain adamant without Christian spirit, either of them should be treated like a beast which they claim to be by their constant action through separation as a final remedy for the life, health and salvation of both or either partner. This is to be done when all possible means through prayers, dialogue, sacrifices, etc applied proves abortive, for such person among them is psychologically, morally and spiritually sick and ought to be treated as such. If even the either partner goes about messing himself or herself up with girls/women or boys/men or try to remarry after the separation but for how long will he or she do that before the new partner/lover realizes that he or she is not normal. Still on onanism, a biblical philological exegete Padre Giovanni Boer said in onanism there was no faithfulness in the citation regarding the sexual intercourse. This sexual intercourse by Onan cannot be used to explain contraception as done nowadays by some people. John Paul II’s catechesis on sexuality have many responses to this because in the beginning God made them one man one wife. The great mystery of human sexuality is evident in the non satisfying character found in sex hence the fulfillment is only found in union with Christ and this is important to priests as well. A priest is consecrated in the Church and is not alone, hence my priesthood is to save all men and women alike, so that the happiness of human sexuality will be seen in eternity.

Written on Monday 23^rd September 2013 Memorial of St. Pius of Pietreclina (san Padre Pio di Pietreclina) while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.

 

IS VIRGINITY BROKEN ONLY ONCE IN LIFE TIME? BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

As children of God, as Christians and as human persons too who may tend to say “I don’t care I must live my life the way I want it”, whether we want to know or not, the fact is that we are under control of Him who created us out of his bounty and goodness. This implies that we are not free to do whatever we think or wish personally to do and cannot pretend not to know what is right at a point a time, irrespective of our knowledge, rhetoric or what we may think as being “rightful thing” to do at a point in time. Therefore, the issue of virginity preservation before Sacramental marriage as a Christian is always a judge against us once we go contrary, that is testing if you are a virgin really through sexual intercourse, before that particular day of Covenant promise or oath or vow between a man and a woman as to be husband and wife in the Church. This is spiritually and morally binding of both couple before Christ’s faithful and once is done the consummation follows immediately at home or any place they have prepared on that particular day. Therefore, once a woman is not raped or by any other means available be it by physical force or drugged as to have carnal relationship or knowledge of her, the breaking of her virginity is always consciously and conscientiously done by her deliberate intention. Virginity is physically broken (by sexual intercourse or any form of accident) only once in life time. It is always the girl or woman who consents and opens herself deliberately for the passage of a man in her. For one to say that, they (the man or boy or his people or yours) made her to lose her virginity before the wedding day in the Church as she promised her God is totally false and porous of her personal conviction of Faith in God and moral steadiness as a person (man or woman). In the world today there are many places we can go for medical certification prior to Sacrament of Marriage, from a very Christian and reliable faithful medical personnel, therefore, we need not fear or have any doubt about what God can do. Ever before both of you get involved or enter deep into the relationship which is likely to lead to marriage this test ought to be done and certified okay. Trying to make a test (by having sexual intercourse), by both partners and one of them is a total lack of faith and trust in God as a Christian. For one (girls mostly) to say that “I am forced or under duress” is simply a lack of faith in God and lack of trust of yourself too as a person, hence a spiritual laxity. Wherever the seemingly persuasion as may claim by either partner is coming from, is a total lack of faith as a Christian, for even when they made test of themselves through sexual relationship or intercourse, if God is to say otherwise because of their action, they will end up being an atheist when nothing happens within their marriage, even when both are sexually fit as they think of themselves after prior meetings. Be it as it may, the defensive statement from the girl, that he made me to lose my virginity before the Sacrament of Matrimony is totally from her own feeble mindedness or personal sexual nostalgia weakness, for she gave the opportunity to be so, by leaving herself totally free without anything while alone with the supposed man, thereby allowing him to explore her body and she loses her virginity (cfr. Ezek.23:3.8-10.21; see also 16:15; Sirach 23:16-17). We ought to know that the body chemistry is very volatile once it comes to carnal rapport, that is why when the opposite sex works on the body of the either persons he or she gives in immediately, therefore, to avoid blame to anybody, is always best not to give the devil a chance (cfr.1Pet.5:8-9). Once we are baptized, our Christian faith teaches, that the body exploration or foreplay between a man and a woman is only allowed or permitted for those who are already wedded in the Church (cfr. 1Cor.7:1-16) and not even when they were still in Marriage Course. Therefore, Continence or Self Control is always the solution and this is upheld through avoiding the occasions of sin regarding the loss of integrity and dignity as a Christian and more so as a person. Regrettably these days during Sacrament of Matrimony in the Church very many yet after their continuous carnal knowledge come up with an immaculate veil on the day of marriage with the face covered as to have a ceremonial unveiling of the seemingly nubile, alma or virgin, this a spiritual cum moral caricature to God of virginity in the Liturgy. This is spiritually hypocrisy and a debased faith unto Virginity and Immaculate nature. Therefore, let us try always to maintain our faith, trust and promise to God, more so when we have paraded ourselves in the past as being virgin before marriage, if not let us not make caricature of ourselves before God. All these are also applicable to friendship relationships between a boy and a girl or a man and a woman. If you are a virgin and then contacted a relationship with a boy or a girl as a friend try your best to make the friendship sincere and firm with your state of virginity with steady integrity and original dignity. If he or she wants to know whether you are a virgin really, you don’t need to give in to his or her persuasions by saying have me and see that am saying the truth, it is a form of gross stupidity on your part as a boy or a girl, for you can never regain your original status when you are a virgin once you have carnal relationship with an opposite sex, no matter many years it takes you to have it the second time. Be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self Eph.4:23-24. Oh God, have mercy on me Ps.51.

Written on Thursday 12th September 2013 Memorial of the Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary while in MONASTERO BENEDETTINO S.MARIA DE' FRANCONI VEROLI-DIOCESI DI FROSINONE-VEROLI-FERENTINO.

IL CAMMINO SPIRITUALE DA SIGNORA LORNA PERIZZOLO DA SABATO LUGLIO 20, 2013 DA DON PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

IL CAMMINO SPIRITUALE DA SIGNORA LORNA PERIZZOLO DA SABATO LUGLIO 20, 2013 DA DON PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

 

Dal ogni nome esco una spiritualità che sarebbe trovata intrinsecamente dal il suo significato. Lorna viene dal Lorena come origine, il significato è deriva dal nome di una regione storica francese, la Lotaringia. Potrebbe anche trattare di un nome idologico nato alla fine del Settecento come solidarietà dei duchi di Toscana della dinastia di Lorena, benvoluti per le loro idee riformiste e liberali. I varianti nomi Lorna e Lorraine è Mite di temperamento, sensibile, gentile e altruistico anche se a volte contraddittorio. Cerca costantemente un equilibrio interiore e stare in armonia con gli altri, infatti cerca di evitare il più possibile litigi. È sostanzialmente masochista e in amore prova in tutti i modi a mantenere saldo il rapporto ad ogni costo. L'onomastico si festeggia il 10 dicembre. Dal queste significati entriamo proprio cosa è un cammino spirituale. Quando si dice spirituale questo vuol dire, c’è un rapporto speciale attraverso una vita interiore cioè vita ascetico e mistico con i mezzi dei udire, sentire e ascoltare così si fa costantemente un equilibro interiore e poi stare in armonia con te stesso anche gli altri così si evitare i litigi tra il corpo e lo Spirito come san Paolo scrivesse: Vi dico dunque: camminate secondo lo Spirito e non sarete portati a soddisfare i desideri contrari alla carne; queste cose si oppongono a vicenda, sicché voi non fate quello che vorreste Gal.5, 16-17. Per questo sappiamo che dentro di noi c’è una guerra cioè La lotta interiore cfr. Rom.7, 14-24. Il cammino spirituale è un periodo di ritiro personale o gruppo attraverso contemplazione e meditazione sulla vita passato, presente e per futuro. Perciò La Bibbia dice: Forse che io ho piacere della morte – dice il Signore Dio – o non piuttosto che desista dalla sua condotta e viva? Ezech.18, 23 (cfr. Sap.11,26; Lc.15,7.10.32; Gv.8,11; Rom.11,32; 2Pt.3,9) quindi la conversione è importante per il cammino spirituale come si trovi nel Ezech.33, 10-17. Nella conversione troveremo il pentimento di cuore Salmo 51 (50) Miserere Domine. Anche risoluzione per non fare più segue come stata scritto Figlio, hai peccato? Non farlo più e prega per le colpe passate. Come alla vista del serpente fuggi il peccato: se ti avvicini, ti morderà…. Siracide 21, 1-10. Devi evitare pigrizia nella vita spiritual ecco perché: Il pigro è simile a una pietra imbrattata, ognuno fischia in suo disprezzo. Il pigro è simile a una palla di sterco, chi la raccoglie scuote la mano Siracide 22, 1-2. Allora per far questo cammino devi essere un viaggio verso il diserto (midbar ebr., eremos Greeco) dal Greeco viene il nome eremite. Ma nel diserto fa la esperienza di fuoco o illuminazione dello Spirito Santo come in Esodo 3,5 L’angelo del Signore gli apparve in una fiamma di fuoco in mezzo a un roveto. Egli guardò ed ecco: il roveto ardeva nel fuoco, ma quel roveto non si consumava cioè la Teofania – mostrare la divinità presenza di Dio davanti a noi e quindi cosa facciamo, <<Non avvicinarti! Togliti i sandali dai piedi, perché  il luogo sul quale tu stai è una terra santa>>Eso.3,5. È quindi il cammino spirituale è rispondere profondamente il chiamata di Dio a ognuno di noi con la nostra vita quotidiano perché Non amate né il mondo, né le cose del mondo! Se uno ama il mondo, l’amore del Padre non è in lui, perché tutto quello che è nel mondo, la concupiscenza della carne, la concupiscenza degli occhi e la superbia della vita, non viene dal Padre, ma dal mondo. E il mondo passa con la sua concupiscenza; ma chi fa la volontà di Dio rimane in eterno! 1 Gv.2, 15-17. Dunque, il cammino spirituale come si trovi nel significato dal tuo nome è una scelta come La libertà umana Siracide 15,11-20 ma comunque in tutto queste stata attenti e poi prega anche fai come la Parola di Dio disse nel Siracide 7 così, sia come un discepolo nel Vera vite Gv.15.

CONJUGAL LOVE A SACRIFICE OF ITS KIND BY OGUN IKECHUKWU 4th July 2013

CONJUGAL LOVE A SACRIFICE OF ITS KIND BY OGUN IKECHUKWU 4^th July 2013

Love without a cross therein is not a sacrifice. The cross therein in the conjugal love is that which is a total abandonment of the self to the partner. Each partner freely leaves his or her self as a gift (dora). Each of the partner gets satisfactions because of the love, but this satisfaction finds its fulfillment in Christ when it is geared towards eternity, hence without sin in, with and from the act. Consequent to this eternal goal, there is a mercy (elemos) which flows from within, and if there is no compassion from within, the act itself ceases to be love and there is a spiritual cohesion which manifest itself outwardly as a moral disturbance and social in-satisfaction. One can hardly attain perfection or holiness in this case unless there is a return to spiritual and theological mathematical algebra which finds its solution or answer as 1 + 1 equals 1 (One). One, here denotes holiness and unity which has no division or mental conjugal cohesion, because the real conjugal love ought to be and is indeed taken to be a sign of sacrifice from either partner and this is an Almsgiving (elemosyne).

Cfr.1Cor.7:1-10

1ST YEAR BURIAL ANNIVERSARY OF EMERITUS BISHOP ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU ON THE MEMORIAL OF ST. BENEDICT ON THURSDAY 11TH JULY 2013 BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUIJOFFOR

1^ST YEAR BURIAL ANNIVERSARY OF EMERITUS BISHOP ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU ON THE MEMORIAL OF ST. BENEDICT ON THURSDAY 11^TH JULY 2013 BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

Ora et labora of St. Benedict vis-à-vis or better still in the life of Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu, emeritus bishop of Okigwe Diocese who died on the Solemnity of Most Sacred Heart of Jesus on 15^th June 2012 and was buried on the Memorial of St. Benedict on 11^th July 2012 is something worthy of emulation. As I was celebrating the Holy Mass today at Comunità Parrocchiale San Giuseppe di Cassola e Bassano diocese di Vicenza-Italia, on reading the Gospel of Matt.10: 7-15 the life of Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu appeared before my mind, reflecting on the St. Benedict’s maxim of Ora et labora, because the bishop believed and lived concretely to the fullest this maxim throughout his life praying and working for Christ the Eternal High Priest in his Church without looking for a personal profit, rather he did all for the eternal glory of God and for the good of all irrespective of who you are and where you come from and what your religion is. The praying (Orare) decorum which Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu created whenever he was in prayer calls for constant remembrance because all who knew and have seen him in his moment of meditation and prayers, even at the celebration of the Sacred Liturgy thinks about him as been in a state of mystical union or better still a mystic. This mystical thought is also seen as you listen to him when he preaches. Many appreciated his homily as he starts from abstract or natural things around to come down to the concrete daily lives, making things clear and simple with the existing things, which calls for our holiness of life even as you work and not only in a moment of prayer. His prayer life is worthy of emulation. His listening acumen to spiritual talks is very wonderful. I wish to recall for about four different years while we were having our Diocesan annual priests’ retreat at St. Peter’s Seminary Okigwe, sitting near him and always in the front row, as the spiritual conference was been delivered by the retreat moderators, how he listens with keen attention and take down notes, I was highly edified watching him as he kept silent and listen attentively more than very many of us priests there. Oh Lord glorify your servant who served you with a total and humble spirit leaving everything as was read in gospel of Matthew above. The labora spirit led him into many disciplines in life of which reading the tribute brochure of his burial Mass, which his contemporary and most close friend right from their seminary days, Professor emeritus Rev S.N.N Iweh wrote about him, that he was extraordinary in intelligence and in wisdom hence he worked assiduously in the academic world that led him into having many degrees which were not less than 16 in number yet nobody knew of that because of his humility. He was a man who mastery of many languages from semitic (biblical) to many international languages has no equal in fluency. On various occasions when our brother priests who studied in Europe comes back home with some of their friends, these Europeans get marveled once he starts to talk to them in their languages sometimes in their dialects, garnished with some cultural stories mentioning names of places and persons which they only affirm because of the correctness. This confirms the Igbo adage: Ihe amuru amu ka ihe agworo agwo (What is learnt as a result of personal endeavours are greater than what is just concurred as a fiction or folkstale). Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu was extraordinary in nature, a university, a colossus and an encyclopedia of natural endowments and virtues. This is easily observed when you watch him speak or call on him at any point in time to talk on anything ranging from sacred disciplines to ‘profane’ if I may use the word, he will always gave an excellent mastery to that, that one will continue to wonder of what stuff he was created of. The force and spirit of excellence in labora led him into then communist country, Soviet Union (Russia) when it was strictly forbidden to enter there with Bible. As a Biblical research student, he had his Holy Bible and when he landed in the airport, on checking his luggage they found a Bible with him and he was put into custody but with the intervention of the Vatican he was released. This spirit of labora still made him to start another St. Peter’s Basilica Rome in Okigwe land as Immaculate Conception Diocese, which he had the intention of building also catacomb or crypt of the 12 apostles and also a pinnacle of our Blessed Virgin Mary’s statue at the center of the Cathedral arena. The question is, how did the name Immaculate Conception Cathedral came up, and how did he began to build this Marian Cathedral? During Nigeria-Biafra war he prayed to our Lady that if the Biafra were not exterminated because of the war that he will build a befitting Marian Church or Shrine in her honour, wherever he is posted to work when he back from Europe in 1970. When he chosen by the then Pope, Blessed John Paul II as the first Bishop of Okigwe Diocese in 1981 when he was a formator in Bigard Memorial Seminary Enugu, that thought of his promise to Our Blessed Mother Mary appeared before him giggling like a bell before him. The response to the giggling bell before him was exactly how the Immaculate Conception Cathedral Church was born. May our Mother Mary, the Immaculate Conception help us to realize this magnificent thought in our time through unity of purpose and fraternal collaboration with our incumbent bishop, through Christ our Lord Amen.

 

SINCERE LENIENCY OF BISHOP ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU A ROUTE TO HIS UN-BLOODY MARTYRDOM BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

SINCERE LENIENCY OF BISHOP ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU A ROUTE TO HIS UN-BLOODY MARTYRDOM BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR

Introduction:

History is made each day that passes. It passes with activities done with the inhabitants of the world. Each epoch continues to exist and recall what made it special and unique, so also is applied to individuals at every epoch and time. Such may be applied to the history or better still, the writings on the life and virtues of Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu who came into the world, and was extraordinary right from his birth. This is because, Going for apparently impossible feats seems to have followed the young Ekezie, baptized Anthony, from his mother’s womb. The family of Mazi Matthias Ilonu of Ndiogbuonyeoma, Arondizuogu Okigwe was beginning to get worried after two children that followed their first issue died one after the other. The fear was not allayed when on November 13, 1935 a frail looking boy who refused to cry immediately was born to them. But contrary to expectation, it was he who broke the jinx and no sibling after him ever died again as a baby. His father planted an iroko tree for him.[1] This unique character at birth and his universal and encyclopedic nature brought him to limelight as he gave the greatest response on his life when at his priestly ordination in Rome December 19, 1964 when he answered Ego mitte me Domine Is.6:8. This response was accompanied with virtues throughout his priestly and Episcopal ministry. Among his other virtues I humble wish to treat on his sincere leniency, which led to his un-bloody martyr throughout his life on earth.

Etymology of words and significant relationships in Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonus’s life:

The root word sincerus (Latin), which comes from the prefix sem or sin, meaning one; and the word crescere meaning to grow and literally meaning of once growth implies not a hybrid; unmixed, another accepted etymology is without wax. It is derived from two Latin words, sine that is without and cera meaning wax. With the sincere character of Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu he grew each day in an unmixed character of holiness. From another version, sincerus -a -um, pure, whole, sound, genuine, uncorrupt, and with the adverb sincerely, honestly and frankly, we can easily affirm that the priestly and episcopacy of Anthony Ilonu without mincing word is that of honesty and frankness  but was trunked with envy of those who wanted and wished that they were the bishop instead of himself, hence planned and executed their actions that made him suffer martyrdom in an un-bloody nature and manner throughout his episcopacy starting from the day his name was announced as the Bishop-elect of the then new Okigwe Diocese in 1981. Furthermore, from the Mid 16^th century, the Latin word sincerus, means clean or pure, or not falsified or unadulterated, the life of Bishop Ilonu was that which one can easily termed not falsified or unadulterated regarding his apostolate and pastoral charity which he initiated, and practically very many are copied and are still copying his unadulterated style and original thoughts and ways of doing things, yet when he started such thoughts very many nailed him to the cross and labeled him with all sorts of names over the globe. Let us look at Paul’s prayer to the Philippians about knowledge and discernment thus: so that ye may approve the things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and void of offence unto the day of Christ Phil. 1:10. Therefore, the word Ειλικρινής (eilikriní̱s) translates sincere to Greek, and in the Greek and Latin roots of the word sincere, it connotes pure-ness and its validity is far stronger than in the English, that is why the etymology of the word is best translated as sun tested.  The Greek word elikrines is made up of two Greek words, heile which means the sun’s ray and krino meaning to judge. Ipso facto, the literal meaning of sincere is to have our life and actions judged by sunlight. In this ambient, though not many appreciated the Bishop’s sincere effort when he was alive, but practically very many now even those who were involved in the act of pulling him down are now trying to make it open that he was never vindictive as a person. Therefore, having gone a series of sun test, his character is now for many a sunlight and a ray in which very many try to emulate and grow with spiritually. Jesus said: Every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved Jn.3:20. But if it were sine cere (Latin), or sun tested it would be held up to the sun, and when the sun hit the pot, it would expose the cracks and show it to be a fraud. Therefore, the application from 2 Cor.1 and 2 is obvious in the episcopacy of Anthony ILONU. Every Christian in the Church, ought to be without wax. It is proper then that we should be sun tested and shown to be sincere, and true integrity shows throughout our daily lives. 2 Cor.2:17 makes all the more sense when Paul explains that he and his companions: do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God, one who knew Bishop Anthony Ilonu will always confirm that his life was that which he strongly and sincerely believed and practiced too by maintaining that people should be given opportunity because community life and growth in all ramifications helps the Church and the world in general. No wonder then he was so liberal and sincere too, in sending his priests and seminarians outside the country for studies and on mission. One can easily see that because of this act also he was nailed to the cross that led to things falling apart and certainly very many things were no longer at ease until the deed was done. Furthermore, tracing this root from Hebrew word, sincerity is tamiyum, which means without blemish, full, sound and perfect. The first two times the Hebrew word for sincerity (timiym) was used in the Old Testament, it was translated perfect. Let us observe for a while these citations as the use of the word appeared thus: These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect [timiym] in his generations, and Noah walked with God Gen.6: 9. And when Abram was ninety nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect [timiym] Gen.17:1. In Deut.18:13 God instructs all of His people to be perfect. Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God Ps.15:2. In another passage, the Hebrew word for sincerity is translated upright. Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, [timiym] and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart Ps. 15: 1-3. In the life of Bishop Anthony Ilonu, these words are evidently seen and observed once you remember his motto: Non nobis Domine non nobis se tua datur nomen gloriam Ps. 115: 1. Throughout his life time he saw himself as a mere vessel that was been used for God’s action among his people, that is why in his apostolate his nature was enveloped with leniency, given way for many to shine out in various disciplines without been strict on them rather, sincere, soft and easy going for the growth of the Church and for the manifestations of God’s given talents in them. The word lenient is seen as showing or characterized by mercy or tolerance, from Latin lēnīre- to soothe, from lēnis- soft, we then derived leniency, lenience, tolerant or lenient, therefore, lenient is, not strict; an easy teacher; easy standards, lenient rules, an easy penalty, simple undemanding affection, an undemanding boss. Looking at these synonyms one easily see in the life of Bishop Anthony Ilonu, as possessing without reserve of all these synonyms. His pastoral care was fully anchored with these basic virtues. The normal talk is that Bishop Anthony Ilonu is lenient to a fault and that is why people took advantage of that and put him to a tight corner always. He was indeed tolerant, an easy teacher who teaches even with the least things from nature that one may not imagine its significant. He uses that to bring home the gospel no matter what topic or theme he was preaching in Mass or even in ordinary discussion with him. The Bishop was very simple and undemanding. Very many profited from his generosity and charitable nature, which he does without discrimination of who was involved, whether from his home town or elsewhere, even those from other religions and denominations where always around him for work or services. There are still living witnesses who were not Catholics but were later converted to the fold because they were so close to him as workers. It is good to note that there are still very many synonyms which we cannot delve into but we only make use of just a few which we are using, for it is not possible to treat all within this work. The words like: anecho meaning to hold the self back; self-restraint; to delay punishment (in a more legal sense); a suspension of punishment until the proper time. Many volumes are to be written on this about the Bishop somewhere else. Another is aniemi, which means to send away or back or to allow to go away. The Bishop dismissed and discharged very many tensions on his priests and seminarians that brought about their coming back to their senses for those who cared to do that because of his fatherly care. One is being lenient, when he is showing clemency or a disposition to be merciful. Yet another word that is in this line is pheidomai, which means to refrain or to abstain; to hold oneself back again. Also the word stego means to cover; to conceal, or protect. The Bishop as a father who was merciful, tried to protect the Catholic priesthood when it comes to the matters concerning the priests and seminarians. His sincere actions on those with problem, help many to come back to their senses, this led to his martyrdom, because some were insistent on this, yet he forebear all these. It is because of his forbearance which in Greek concept is translated as longsuffering, with its original word as makrothumia; meaning patient, enduring, bearing with another or a circumstance, that the sincere leniency of Bishop Anthony Ilonu became a route to his un-bloody martyrdom. Indeed, his martyrdom is engraved properly in this word makrothumia, a long time suffering.

 

Sincere leniency, a route to un-bloody martyrdom:

The sincere leniency of Bishop Anthony Ilonu was a route to his un-bloody martyrdom. In this sufferings he found meaning in following Christ and giving examples which others follow in growing of their faith. This was evident in his spirit of humility that sprout from lenient sacrifices in life. The total sacrifice and detachment from things of the world of this great saintly icon of un-bloody martyr Bishop Anthony Ekezie ILONU, is very open when one visits his home town NDIOGBUONYEOME-ARONDIZUGO in his parents’ compound. Many who had the opportunity of visiting his parents’ compound comes back glorifying GOD the more and tries to emulate what they saw and heard him (with his immediate younger brother Msgr Luke Onyechukwu ILONU, pioneer and founding Rector of St. Peter’s Seminary Okigwe) preached about priestly spirituality on detachment according to the biblical injunction of Matt.19:27-29. No wonder then their little human efforts were crowned with greatness and successes concretely evident on innumerable number of people (priests, religious men and women, seminarians and lay faithful) who were what they are and where they found themselves because of the unconditional charity and sacrifices this two brothers have put into the Church for the love they had for Christ reflecting the words of the Psalmist: What can I offer the Lord for His goodness to me? I will bring a wine offer to the Lord, to thank Him for saving me. In the assembly of all His people I will give Him what I have promised…I will give you a sacrifice of thanksgiving and offer my prayer to You. In the assembly of all your people, in the sanctuary of your Temple in Jerusalem, I will give You what I promised Ps.116:12-14, 17-18. Again this life of total sacrifice which he had as a sign of great love for his priests led him into suffering many humiliations rather than to see his priests suffer rejections from any place even beyond our continent Africa. In many occasions he skated his head as to protect his priests, even at night as the biblical Nicodemus, after which he invites them to reprimand them for he do not want any of them to get lost as a shepherd, very many of his priests are living testimonies to this unique character of sacrifice in the life of a Bishop so humble and lenient. Like the Eternal High Priest during His arrest at the Garden of Gethsemane who said: “Iterum ergo interrogavit eos: Quem quaeritis? Illi autem dixerunt: Iesum Nazarenum. Respondit Iesus: Dixi vobis quia ego sum; si ergo me quaeritis, sinite hos abire - Again he asked them, Who is it you want? And they said, Jesus of Nazareth. I told you that I am he, Jesus answered. If you are looking for me, then let these men go Jn.18:7-8. Applying this to the life of Bishop ILONU, he did not hold tenaciously his position and office as a bishop rather he saw his office as a sacrifice and victim hence, he gave his position and whole life by saying Take me and leave my priests alone. He lived an exemplary and simple life that he was always the first at the Cathedral site to lead in the manual work and very much indeed uses his hands in doing everything possible in the working arena. He never gets tired at work. The love of salus animarum led him into the apostolate of creating schools and parishes-in-buildings into every nook and cranny of the diocese. He was seen as not having foresight in the random opening of schools, but today other dioceses has copied his original and pioneer thought, Ad Mayorem Dei Gloriam. In correcting his priests within the presbyterium, he believed very much on “adult faith” among those who are already priest, hence on many occasions he said repeatedly that: I will not build another seminary specifically for training candidates who are already priests because each priest ought to have an adult faith in Christ regarding priestly life, reflecting on the SIRACH 15:11-20.[2]

Nobody ever becomes a saint from his mother’s womb, rather with the falling and rising of our daily lives, one moves towards holiness and with all that goes with formation in the seminary if one is a priest, therefore the priestly life be it pastoral, academic or formational is a way to spiritual growth. A priest becomes holy when he tries to live in imitation with Christ’s call and how he appreciates the mystery of the priesthood. The Priesthood is by its nature mysterious; it exists simultaneously with the mystery of the Most Holy Eucharist,  it is not something ordinary rather it is a vocation that is sublime with divine character though it functions in the human ambient. The act of being likened to Christ in the nature of a priest is a form of mysterious dimension in which we see in the person of a priest, therefore to bear fruit in his priestly work he has to cooperate with the divine by surrendering totally and unquestionably too with a sacred character. The priest as we know prolongs the mystery of Incarnation by his nature and what he does, therefore this work is divine hence he ought to be virtuous as to increase in holiness and that of others with his functions. Bishop Anthony Ekezie Ilonu was an embodiment of the above assertions. The priest by his sacramental ordination and the mystery of incarnation, is a victim-sacrifice who shares in the spiritual begetting of the children of God because he is a celibate for the Kingdom of God, though he may find it difficult to control only by the grace of God. The totality of offering by the priest portrays his mortified person in his victim nature as a gift. Being a victim implies also being in friendship with God among his people and by that Bishop Ilonu was a source of grace to the world and the blessings that God bestowed on us who knew him. He was a simple and humble priest of God and was actually a victim of sacrifice for and in the Church in this 21^st century, manifested in his life as a priest and Bishop, of which we are witnesses to his life. The priesthood is Eucharistic in nature and is an Incarnation Word as a Priest-Victim which empties Himself and fills it up through the Sacrificial offering. It is indeed holiness by itself and through it one becomes holy. Therefore, an ideal contemporary priest ought to be a Eucharistic victim, this is exactly seen in the life which Anthony Ekezie Ilonu lived and experienced. The Eucharistic life of a priest is incarnated in the identity with Christ and reveals in the communion spirit of obedience as a character. By the possession of this nature, a priest is a gift to the world. As the magnet has the capacity and potentiality of attracting other metals/objects to itself, it is consequent to the presence of the metallic bond of the magnet as a property. Applying this spiritually, Christ said: Et ego, si exaltatua fuero a terra, omnia traham ad meipsum. - And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone (all people) to myself Jn.12:32. Christ is God and He draws everyone to Himself. Therefore, Anthony Ekezie Ilonu as a priest, was an Alter Christ, when he acts, he acted In Persona Christi, which people ought to saw in him Ipse Christi, hence was evident from his motto, cf. Ps.115:1. As people saw  Ipse Christi  in his words and actions, Christ drew them to Himself, through the priestly life of this un-bloody martyr of our time, because every priest ought to be as the Holy Scripture said: For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things [pertaining] to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins: Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way; for that he himself also is compassed with infirmity. And by reason hereof he ought, as for the people, so also for himself, to offer for sins. And no man takes this honour unto himself, but he that is called of God, as [was] Aaron Heb.5:1-4.[3]

---

[1] Cf. A FUNERAL ORATION FOR MOST REV. DR ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU, BISHOP EMERITUS, PRESENTED BY THE PRESBYTERIUM AND ALL CHRIST’S FAITHFUL OF OKIGWE CATHOLIC DIOCESE ON THE OCCASION OF HIS LORDSHIP’S BURIAL, THIS 11^TH JULY 2012.

 

[2] Cf. THE MEMORY SO STRONG AND INDELIBLE OF A HUMBLE SAINT AND UN-BLOOODY MARTYR OF A BISHOP, ANTHONY EKEZIE ILONU WHOSE BURIAL MASS WAS CELEBRATED ON WEDNESDAY 11^TH JULY 2012 AT IMMACULATE CONCEPTION CATHEDRAL OKIGWE DIOCESE BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR (SERIES NO. 1).

[3] Cf. Bishop Anthony EKEZIE ILONU: An Ideal Contemporary Priest BY REV FR PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUJIOFFOR.

 

Ogubuike Emmanuel Uche after reading the article and the responses on ONANISM, A CONSCIOUS RENEWAL OF THE ACT IN OUR CONTEMPORARY WORLD, A DAILY GUILT OF OUR TIME BY PAUL IKECHUKWU OGUN, commented and said:  Thanks once more Fr. Bro Ogoke and Ernest seemed to have asked the most sensitive part of the question. This therefore calls for proper introspection. But my question is this, many a time, we the youths who are determined to live a good life are usually caught in this trap. Is it then totally possible for the youths to remain sinless?

Response No. 3 Our response always have its root and exordium from the Book of Books, ipso facto, let us meditate with the Psalmist:

{B#} βηθ ἐν τίνι κατορθώσει ὁ νεώτερος τὴν ὁδὸν αὐτοῦ ἐν τῷ φυλάσσεσθαι τοὺς λόγους σου ἐν ὅλῃ καρδίᾳ μου ἐξεζήτησά σε μὴ ἀπώσῃ με ἀπὸ τῶν ἐντολῶν σου ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ μου ἔκρυψα τὰ λόγιά σου ὅπως ἂν μὴ ἁμάρτω σοι εὐλογητὸς εἶ κύριε δίδαξόν με τὰ δικαιώματά σου ἐν τοῖς χείλεσίν μου ἐξήγγειλα πάντα τὰ κρίματα τοῦ στόματός σου ἐν τῇ ὁδῷ τῶν μαρτυρίων σου ἐτέρφθην ὡς ἐπὶ παντὶ πλούτῳ-Beth. In quo corrigit adolescentior viam suam? in custodiendo sermones tuos. In toto corde meo exquisivi te; ne repellas me a mandatis tuis. In corde meo abscondi eloquia tua, ut non peccem tibi. Benedictus es, Domine; doce me justificationes tuas. In labiis meis pronuntiavi omnia judicia oris tui. In via testimoniorum tuorum delectatus sum, sicut in omnibus divitiis-How can the young remain pure (sinless)? By living according to your word. I seek you with my whole heart; let me not stray from your commands. In my heart I have kept your word, that I may not sin against my Lord. Praise to you, O Lord; instruct me in your statutes, that with my lips I may declare all your spoken decree Ps.119:9-14.

With God all things are possible. This possibility depends on us regarding our disposition, docility and availability with ourselves whole and entire, with a sincere effort and resolution not to be spiritually and morally debased, hence we can find fulfillment in keeping to what the Book of Books advised us to uphold. We ought to be aware of this fact that:  ὅτι πᾶν τὸ ἐν τῷ κόσμῳ, ἡ ἐπιθυμία τῆς σαρκὸς καὶ ἡ ἐπιθυμία τῶν ὀφθαλμῶν καὶ ἡ ἀλαζονεία τοῦ βίου, οὐκ ἔστιν ἐκ τοῦ πατρὸς ἀλλ' ἐκ τοῦ κόσμου ἐστίν-quoniam omne quod est in mundo, concupiscentia carnis est, et concupiscentia oculorum, et superbia vitæ: quæ non est ex Patre, sed ex mundo est-What does the world offer? Only gratification (concupiscence) of corrupt nature, gratification (concupiscence) of the eye, the empty pomp of living; these things take their being from the world, not from the Father 1Jn.2:16. Therefore, looking at the root of the word Possible, we see POTEN, POTES & POSSE meaning POWER. They come from the Latin posse, potesse & possessus. The most important qualities of a person are his potentialities. Very few of us take the trouble to explore our real potential. In this ambient, our spiritual cum moral potential is based on our style of life and what we deem necessary for us as an individual, though we might have received a sound training from our families or wherever we might have found ourselves in a particular home. Many a time we blame the society but in real sense we are to be blamed ourselves because we are the constituents of the society, which comes from a nuclear family or home. Therefore, the greatest blame ought to go to the nuclear family of which we are the members, before ever blaming the gregarious macro family, that is society. Furthermore, picking your word Emmanuel: ‘This therefore calls for proper introspection’, from the 17^th century Latin etymology of the word introspection, intrōspicere to look within, from intro- + specere to look, this means the examination of one's own thoughts, impressions, and feelings, especially for long periods. Ipso facto, the issue of Onanism vis-à-vis Is it then totally possible for the youths to remain sinless?, calls for an individual and strictly personal examination of one’s thoughts, impression, and feelings which demands the virtue of continence, even in speech through talking to people especially among friends of opposite sex. It is good to note that there is nothing wrong or sinful in having friends from opposite sex, the problem is what you do with such friends when you are solely alone without the presence of others? A very saintly and high spiritual advice comes from the Book of Books regarding friendship; Non te reputes in multitudine indisciplinatorum. Memento iræ, quoniam non tardabit. Humilia valde spiritum tuum, quoniam vindicta carnis impii ignis et vermis-Do not join the company of sinners (make friend with sinners), remember that the wrath of God will not be delayed (cf.Gen.38:10). Remain humble, because the godless are punished with fire and worms Sirach 7: 16-17. Therefore, WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP? Friendship in the real sense of it is a way towards sacrificing your time, talent, energy and the whole self for the goal and happiness of others through their spiritual and moral growth, hence FRIENDSHIP means:

F – FOCUSING your mind towards making others happy.
R – REACHING to others as to make them feel well always.
I – INSISTING on the things that glorifies God in your relationship with friends.
E – ENDURING things on behalf of others.
N – NEVER to give the devil opportunity between your relationships with friends (cfr.1Peter 5:8-9).
D – DOING everything to bring nearer your friends to God.
S – SHAPING your personality from the virtues of your friends and they in return increasing their virtues from yours.
H – HOLINESS of life is a key to true friendship.
I – INSTRUCT your friends well whenever they err.
P – PUT all efforts to help you grow positively for the sake of knowing others.